My first STD was from a foam party
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize