So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
