I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
