idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
