Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
