if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
