What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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