I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
