Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
