I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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