Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
