Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Your penis caused this!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
