also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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