Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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