We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
your like the ambassador to my penis.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
