i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
