her vagine was all disorganized.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
