The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm too high and old for this...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
