i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
