shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
