I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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