New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
