after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
