Sponge bath it is.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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