I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
