The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
