ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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