Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
