Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
