Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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