question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
