she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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