You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
