my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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