Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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