There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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