It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
All the doctor said was why
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
