Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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