So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
