i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
