i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
