she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
