Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
