I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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