I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
3pm strippers are depressing
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
