im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
