According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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