What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
