i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
COCAINE IS GR8
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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