i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize