I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
