Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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