No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize