great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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