if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Houston, we have a blender
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
